What's running though my mind comes through in my walk / True feelings are shown by the way that I talk. ~MCA Adam Yauch 1964-2012

Monday, November 26, 2012

On turning 40...

If there are any other "Lord of the Rings" geeks out there, you will remember the scene at the end of the "Return of the King" film when Bilbo Baggins is getting on the boat to the Undying Lands, he smiles and says, "I think I'm quite ready for another adventure!"

 That's how I feel about turning 40 years old today. I feel excited about the potential that is ahead of me and of the lesson that I have learned in my 40 years that has helped me grow as a person. I feel like I am at the cusp of an epic journey and I am anxious to get on with it. I've spent the first part of my life growing, learning, making mistakes, and paying for some of those mistakes. I've learned to forgive and let go of the past. I've been raising two beautiful boys and although they are getting at the ages where they may not always want me in their business, I know and they know that I will always be there for them.

But I also have to to be there for me. I spent much of my life worrying about how others see me, about whether I looked right, talked right, was thin enough, if I was supermom and the price I paid was forgetting who my true authentic self was. I find it quite refreshing where I am now, not caring too much what other think of me. I care not if someone thinks me wearing a Beastie Boys shirt while shopping, or sees a flash of my pink polka dotted silly socks under my office casual at work and finds me ridiculous. It doesn't bother me when stylists try to talk me into dying my hair to cover my gray because somehow society has placed a higher value on looking young while pouring chemicals on your head then just rocking what you have.

I am not the same person I was when I was a child, or as a teenager, or in the twenties. Hell, I am not the same person I was 5 years, or even 2 years ago.  I know that I am a constant work in progress, an ever evolving being.

So instead of looking at 40 as the "beginning of then end" where my body falls apart and my life slows down, I choose to see it like Bilbo saw that boat...as an adventure.

And I'm quite ready for it!

Saturday, November 24, 2012

On weight loss and how people view themselves.

I notice a trend in many of the weight loss commercials and stories out there. It usually involves a person being delightfully happy that they have finally lost the weight that burdened them. They feel free, they feel light, and they feel empowered. It's a great place to be when one sets a goal and works hard to get it. Why, though, do so many of these stories add a part where they talk about what a loser they were when they were overweight? Yes, I get it...I have been slightly overweight my whole life and it wasn't until I made the lifestyle change to exercise more and eat more whole foods that I started to get it under control and yes, I did go through a phase of self-loathing because of my weight until I realized that overweight or thin, I was an on-going work in progress. I guess what I am saying is that I believe you set yourself up for failure if you think that all your life's ills will be magically fixed by weight loss. I also believe that if you see your overweight self as a loser, you missed the point of the journey. What one is and where one is at a particular point in their life's journey is precisely where one needs to be for lessons learned and experiences lived. I am not a different person because I lost 15 pound with 15 more to go. If I am a different person it's because I grew and evolved out of any bad habits I had. I will continue to be as different 10 years from now as I was 10 years ago. I will continue to evolve as a person long after the weight it gone. We are all an on-going work in progress.

Monday, November 05, 2012

My thoughts the day before Election Day

You can feel the excitement in the air!  Tomorrow is Election Day and I am quite ready for it to be done with. I'm tired of the negativity, of the finger pointing, and of politics as usual.

I am ready for President Obama to have a second term and be able to continue to bring about what he tried to do in his first term, but couldn't get any cooperation.  Who knows, maybe with this term he won't get any either.  I like to wish that the "we will make him a once term President" brigade will see their folly and actually do the job that they were elected to do.  

I'm not going to lie and say that I'm not concerned that President Obama could lose this.  I'm not going by the polls because I think polls are dubious as best.  I'm concerned because of the underlying racial tones that aren't so hidden anymore.  There's an anger that runs deeper, a hate that those against Obama can't hide.  As a woman, I am deeply concerned about how far back we will be set back with a man like Mitt Romney, who I perceive as a man who will never see a woman as his equal, running the Country 

I would like to see the return of the Moderates....both Republican and Democrat.  When we are polarized, we cannot compromise.  United we stand, divided we fall.

Sunday, November 04, 2012

I still miss Adam Yauch....

May 4th, 2012 started with me goofily telling people "May the Fourth Be with You" and ended with my heart breaking.  Halfway through that day I saw the first post on Tumblr regarding his death and I was shocked.  So many were.  Yes, he was fighting cancer, but I think there was so many people rooting for him and sending so much energy his way, we thought he'd pull through.

Adam Yauch was a legend, he was an icon, but he was also a man, a husband, a father, and a humanitarian. To be honest, I wasn't a big fan of the Beasties until they grew up a bit from their "Licensed to Ill" days.  Many people say they took a trip to "Serious Island", but what they did was grow up and it was good!

I still miss him like hell.

Friday, November 02, 2012

If you could live anywhere, where would it be?

This was one of the topic prompts set on Blogher and since I have a dream place to live, I thought I would try to answer it.

My first response would be Ireland.  I suppose this comes from being part Irish and always wanting to see it.   When I see photos of Ireland, I always seem to get this feeling in my heart, like I am missing home.  I always thought it was a genetic imprint from my past ancestors that left the shores of Ireland praying to be able to see it again.

"And when I'm alone, Far away from home
I'll think of the good times once more
Until I can make it back
Some day
Here to Paddy's green shamrock shore"

There is something about being Irish that I am proud of.  I come from a people that came to this country to survive and to be able to come back, if only for a visit, would be a perfect way to honor those who braved a whole new world and, to some extent, helped build that new world.

But when I think about it all, I guess if I could live anywhere, I would live anywhere that I am with those that I love.  Home is where the heart is and home is what you make it.  In fact, I'm not living in the most exciting place, but I am surrounded by those I love....my sons and my man.

One day I would love to see Ireland, but home will always be with those I love.

Thursday, November 01, 2012

Five More Days until Election Day and it's time to continue to move forward, not back!

I can't believe that it's only five more days until Election Day!!  It seems like the Election Seasons are getting longer and LONGER, kind of like how Christmas decorations are out before Halloween in the stores.  I have to admit that I have not been as into it as past election seasons. 

I suppose most of it is due to the fact that I have always been a supporter of our President and did not waver in that support.  I wasn't always happy with how things were going and was completely frustrated by the lack of "Change" in his first term, but I do not think that failure is on him. I believe it fell squarely in the shoulders of a broken system and a lack of compromise.  Regardless, I have maintained my support for him.

Now is not the time to go backwards and that's where I believe we would be headed if Mitt Romney becomes President.  Everything that President Obama had to fight tooth and nail for would be picked apart and left on the curb.  As a woman, I am especially concerned of what my place in this world could become, considering the lack of education and compassion that the far Right seem to have for women's issues.

All I am saying is that I don't believe that President Obama has been given a fair chance to show how much he can shine.  My hopes are that with a second term, those that opposed him so much by spending more energy trying to make him a one term President will work with him and build this country back.  Instead of fighting, we need to come together.

That is my hope. That is my wish.